How grateful I am

 

I re-lived one of the most horrific experiences of my life last night...in a dream. It was the first few minutes of Linnea's life.

 

What you may say would make the birth of your first child horrific...try having no sound when she comes out and a red blinking light and a team of nurses and respiratory therapists rushing in. Try watching your husband freeze and your mom crying her eyes out...and never hearing your baby cry! The worst part is...the medical staff never told me what was happening. They smiled at me and said everything is fine...as a mom you know everything is not fine.

 

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, but in all reality was a little over a minute I heard Linnea cry for the first time. I have her birth on film. I've watched it once since she was born almost four years ago...I've watched Drew's multiple times now because it brings me joy, I can't watch Nea's because she is born blue and floppy. I had the whole experience flood back to me last night...and it made me pick her up this morning and kiss her so hard! I am so blessed my story ended beautifully with a healthy, spit fire daughter!

 

Why did this happen to her? Well no one had an answer, but after watching the footage of her birth beforehand I noticed something...as soon as I got my epidural my labor slowed down...then I noticed (because we filmed it) the heart rate of Linnea was dropping, then rising...after hours of this she was born. Any type of drug effects me in strong ways. I couldn't walk for hours after delivery. This is why Andrew was born without drugs. I learned that epidurals can at times cause depressed breathing.

 

Natural birth is not for everyone (I think everyone can do it, you have to get your mind in it)...but it is for me! This is the only explaination I have as to why Linnea was not breathing, it shows on her monitors....so I won't use one again unless medically necessary. I don't know why I'm writing this...probably because it's a very emotional experience and I need to get it out of my mind for now!

 

 

I'm just feeling really grateful for this beautiful little girl right now!

Both my healthy kids for that matter!

 

 

Some catch up thought!

Life is a whirlwind. We have been through a lot this summer and I can't say I'm sad to see it go. I hope this fall brings great changes for my family and I. Derek is about to start school on Monday, and I am so excited for him to be that much closer to graduating.

I am struggling to be blunt. I am amazed at myself and feel like I'm a complainer, but I can't stinking help it. I work less than I did and my job is as close to my home as I could ever want it and I'm having a HARDER time working than I was when we were living in Eagle Mountain and I commuted forty minutes both ways and worked forty hours a week. What the heck? I feel I'm in a constant battle with myself to enjoy my job, to just suck it up and deal with it for the next few years. Has anyone felt their whole soul was in unrest! That's what I've felt for the last three months and I'm running out of steam. I don't know how to deal. I pray multiple times a day just to help me have a positive out look on things. Derek and I are praying that our soon to be released eBook can help us financially and maybe allow me to go PRN, cross your fingers. We feel good about it, we feel like it's a good goal, and we both feel like it's a good eBook, I hope you'll all take a look at it!

Anyways, life is crazy and it's crazy the way it teaches you lessons. I've never been a patient person, until the last few months or so. I've been barely holding on sometimes, and I've been patiently waiting to see the outcomes of our decisions and I've been patiently waiting for answers to my prayers. In my patriarchal blessing I was told patience is one of the lessons I am to learn and I'm learning it! I'm grateful for the lesson even though the process bluntly sucks, but it will help me throughout my life.

I've learned that I'm developing new talents. My other blog is slowly growing, some days it gets around 200 visitors. It's still a little guy, but I've really developed a love for healthy eating and living and can't wait to grow that talent and hopefully share it with others.

I've learned I don't take my children for granted as much as I used to. I have some amazing friends who haven't found it so easy to have kids quickly or in their time frame and I am so inspired by their strength and example and they are helping me to be a better mom and love my little ones more! I look for the day when I can stay home full-time and I swear it if any of you hear my complain about being a stay at home mom you have my permission to stand up, walk across the room, and smack me in my face so hard it leaves a mark! I pray I will never take my sweet kids for granted! They are my life as well as Derek! I don't know what I'd do without them.

Even though our struggles may seem small to others or may look like they aren't really struggles...they are ours. These are trials that the Lord is using to build us and make  us better....most days I think I endure it well....other's I fall short, but even though this has been a tough summer I'm grateful for these invaluable lessons I've learned and for the appreciation I've gained for what I have and hope to have someday!

Giveaway at My other blog!!!

Hey guys I'm so excited to write and tell you I've had a company allow me to do some product reviews and now I'm hosting a giveaway! 

I love this company they always have awesome products. If you want a healthy, filling, free snack for yourself head on over and enter the giveaway!! It closes Saturday

www.naturallyhealthyandhappy.blogspot.com

The intense Joy of Multiple Children!!!

Oh I love my kids, so I just wanted to show you how the little sweeties helped me while I went upstairs to fold laundry for five minutes, literally five minutes! I don't know what I'd do without them!!! :)







Mommy, went upstairs so let's do this....

and let's finish it off by doing this....

ahhhh....memories...they are such helpers!

Happy Fourth of July!

We had a great fourth of July, my parents and brother came up on the 3rd to have dinner with us, then on the 4th we headed over to Katie and Eric's for a BBQ, swimming, and fun. We watched our super early firework show, (due to grumpy kids) and just had a great day!!! Linnea kept saying all day "It's America's Birthday!" Well true... We hope everyone had a great 4th of July!!!!

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New blogs

Hey guys I just wanted to let you know I've started a health food, fitness, living good and happy blog! It's been really fun and I think it has a lot of yummy things and good tips. It still has a long way to go, but if you want to take a look I hope you like some things you see on there.

www.naturallyhealthyandhappy.blogspot.com

Mommies!!!

Well I hope everyone had a wonderful mother's day. We were able to all gather and we were able to skype with Daney Boy. It was a great day!!! Derek spoiled me with my annual love letter and a whole set of de-stressing scents, lotion, pillow spray, and body scrub. I slept with the pillow spray last night and really did feel rejuvenated :). I wanted to let all those who are missing mom's or wishing to be moms, I'm praying for you and I look up to you!!!! I wanted to let my wonderful mommy know how much I love her and appreciate all she does for us as well as my sister!!! She's such a great mommy and does such a wonderful job with my nephew Sammy Sam!!! Love you

I'm also so grateful to my little nuggets, no matter how busy, and tired they make me!!!! They are my life and they bring me so much joy. I can't imagine my life without them. I love them so much. I wanted to thank my hubs for being such a great daddy and helping raise our little ones!!! Happy mother's day everyone

What we've learned this far

Well it's been a week into our little faith adventure and I've learned a few things this far into it. I've learned that there are bullet points of faith. What I mean is like here is FAITH but underneath faith is other items you need to have that give you true faith like this
                                                                                     - patience
                                                                                     - hope
                                                                                     -trust
                                                                                     - and enduring well

I am truly trying to have patience, and I think I am. Both my kids just got ear infections, high fevers, congestion and Drew just got put on a steroid to keep it from turning into RSV. Anyway this is just another thing that has happened to help me learn patience, I feel pretty stretched thin since the long nights between both kids I've done alone. I've prayed for strength and each morning I wake up and am able to function and not yell and still handle the day with happiness, so this has been a testimony builder for me in patience and enduring as well as showing us what we can handle even when we feel we're at our limit.
I also have learned that Heavenly Father helps us in His own way and a way that works for the individual person, Derek is still out there each day all day and hasn't made a sale, however he has improved. He's learning the skills he needs to be great at sales. This has been a hard lesson for me to get since I want financial success out there, but I've come to learn even if Derek doesn't make one sale and he comes home early I feel he has learned skills and he can keep trying in a different field of sales since he told me this is a talent he wants to learn. Derek has felt Heavenly Father teaching him and helping him, so it has shown me that He is aware and answers our prayers in ways we may not want, but in ways that will help us for the better.
      The other hard lesson I've learned so far is not to allow myself to get envious of others. There have been several other guys out there that have been quite successful and at first I was really happy for them, but as the days progressed I noticed myself thinking "why can't that be us?" So last night I said my prayers and asked for things not to get to me and just be grateful that Derek is improving and learning so much, and it has gotten a lot better today. I'm so grateful for this time in our lives. This is such special opportunity for us to learn life skills in such a spiritual way. I've felt alone at times like Heavenly Father isn't listening, but then I exercise the lessons he's been teaching me and I truly feel like it opens my eyes to see from a different perspective His hand in our lives. Don't get me wrong I'm not perfect at this it's a work in progress and I'm still hoping for success out there, but we'll be taken care of either way.

Faith Stories...

So I'm needing a little boost... As a lot of you know Derek and I are trying to make some money to help get Derek through school by doing summer sales. Everything has attempted to get us to not go. I'm happy to report that today we were told that a family will be signing a lease agreement on our condo next Friday...amazing news. That was a huge stress on me, but through patience and tons of prayer and fasting it finally happened thankfully!!! We went forward without having our condo rented because both Derek and I truly felt that going to Kansas and heading to Utah State was for sure the right thing to do. Well I'm continuing to try and be patient while Derek is out there, but so far he hasn't had success. I know it's only been a few days and I continue to be positive and encouraging to Derek (obviously he doesn't need me to stress him out more) but anyways I can't help but wonder why did we feel so good about this sales opportunity in kansas if we don't make anything? A lot of people keep saying well maybe you need to just learn something which I get, and that is very possible. I just can't see what He has planned for us, does that make sense? So I kind of wanted a boost. Has anyone had any experiences where you were directed one way, but it didn't turn out how you thought? Did it help you reach your goal even though it happened another way? Don't get me wrong we've had plenty of life changes in our lives where things just work out and it works out better than we could ever have planned. This one though I am finding some confusion...I guess I'm just hoping to understand why we were directed in this direction...So if you want I'd love to hear some stories!!!

Andrew Derek Childs

Happy Birthday to our sweet man! I can't believe he is one already!!! I have thought about him all day and how wonderful his actual birthday was. It was calm and peaceful and he was so kind to come so quickly (since we decided to go all natural :) ) Andrew is such a blessing to our family...it is absolutely impossible to get enough of this little guy.

Drew boy loves to eat

He loves to dance

He loves to snuggle right on your shoulder

Drew loves to suck his thumb and hold his blankie in his other hand next to his face

Drew is picky about what he drinks out of

Drew loves loves loves my camel bak water bottle

Drew loves balls

Drew loves his older sister, seriously they are mischief waiting to happen...heaven help us

Drew loves to follow us everywhere around the house

Drew loves to be dramatic and throw himself on the floor when he's mad

Drew loves to figure out how things work

The dishwasher is his favorite hang out

Andrew loves toilet brushes, yes you read that right the nastiest thing ever

He could live on fruits and veggies and smoothies, He is my healthy boy

He loves avacodos, kiwi, broccoli, carrots, and bananas

Drew loves to play with his trucks

Andrew thinks it's hilarious to run from us when it's time to get dressed

He loves tubs

He loves us to say no, he just laughs at us and keeps doing what he's doing

He love to be outside

He takes steps, but honestly doesn't show and interest in really walking long distances

He loves the cruiser push toy his Nana bought him

He is our pooh bear with sides of Tigger coming out

He is very patient and mellow, but knows how to yell

He is our Drew boy and our Angel Boy and we love you so much!!! We couldn't live without you Drew what a blessing you are, we're so thankful you came to our family!!! Love you baby boy!!!! Happy Birthday

Trials

Well life has been a roller coaster the last few months. Derek and I are making some HUGE changes in our lives and for our family. In about two weeks we are moving....Derek will be heading to Kansas City to do summer sales, I'm going to go stay with my parents for a few weeks to see how he does and then the kids and I will head out...I can't wait. We feel like this is something we need to do for Derek's confidence and also to help me cut back on working outside the home, we've been really excited to see what this summer brings, then when we get home its off to Logan. Derek was accepted into the Engineering program and is ready to finally be in the place where he'll graduate!!!

All these decisions have been made with sure answers that we're doing the right thing...however ever since we have made these decisions we have been hit with trial after trial that tries to get us to change our minds and play it safe and comfortable. We have had financial stresses, struggles with our condo, with selling in the summer, car problems and two days ago a big blow, and honestly a betrayal of trust from a family member placed us in the stickiest situation I feel we've ever been in in our marriage in my opinion. Everything possible seems to keep us from progressing.

These last few months however have brought us closer and closer to the Lord. We have really devoted ourselves to our answers and have finally turned to the power of the atonement and said please take these burdens from us. I have never had such a testimony builder of faith, and we haven't even moved yet. I had a thought the other night. I feel that the adversary has really placed these trials in our way to get us to change our minds and play it safe, but the thought that came to me was "your pretty dumb down there, the more and more you push the more I'm turning to the Lord, and the more I'm showing Him that I'll do whatever he asks." Some family knows what happened a few days ago and it sucks, I have already told Heavenly Father I'm not in the mood to forgive right now, I'm really mad, but I'm still going to have faith in the answers we've been given and not let this deter us from our plans. I just wanted to share that even though trials come our way, and everyone is given different trials...some people go through things I can't even imagine...the point is we have a choice. We can fall....we can blame the Lord...or we can get on our knees and feel His understanding. He KNOWS exactly what we are feeling. He may not show you the way out of your suffering at the time, but I know he will lift it from you if you take advantage of the atonement. Anyways...here's to going forward to faith! We're all here for each other...so I really appreciate everyone who has been there for us...we love you!!!

Just some pictures

Enjoying the first good day of decent weather

This was funny, Andrew had an accident at day care, so he wore girl clothes home, he wasn't happy

Sweet boy!!!

Two kiddos making a fort and playing, love childhood memories

Here are some pictures of life...it's super busy lately ...I'll update in a later post about life but here are some pictures I finally put on our computer of the kids

Wow some Disney pictures

Wow our computer is having major picture issues so I just wanted to post some pictures now that I finally was able to upload some, not all but some of our awesome Disney trip 4 months ago. It was soooooo much fun, I can't wait to go again. Linnea was afraid of most the rides at first because the first ride we went on was pirates and she hated it, so any ride that was dark or loud she would cry, except stinking small world. Andrew was amazing, he didn't cry at all and I think he loved grabbing all the characters noses. We have gone the week after Thanksgiving for two years now, and I will NEVER go in the summer again or really any other time. The weather is perfect and lines, what lines. I think the longest wait was 25 minutes. It was awesome. Sorry for the delay and lack of pictures, I wish I knew what was going on with the computer, o well. Enjoy.

My new invention

Well I am changing some major habits in our house. I've been reading a book called "Disease Proof Your Child", it's the same doctor that wrote the book "Eat to Live" which was the plan that helped me lose all my weight plus some after Linnea was born. Well I wanted to teach my kids what truly healthy eating was when they were young, Linnea already is catching on, she tells me when she's playing with her kitchen set that she's going to make a healthy lunch to make her big and strong. She also tells me that her vegetables and fruit are now healthy for her, she still will initially not want to eat green things, but after awhile if she sees us making a big deal about how good they are she'll eat them. Anyways Derek has even joined in which is a big deal Derek loves his butter, ice cream, and sweets. Well last night I wanted to make some granola bars so I kind of invented some, they ended up not sticking together so I just made it into granola. It was really good, Derek said they tasted like crumbled up no-bakes (even though there was hardly any chocolate) so I thought I'd share my little recipe. I tried following someones recipe, but I had to make my own twist on it. So here is the super food granola:

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup all natural peanut butter

1 tsp vanilla

1 1/4 cup oats

1/2 cup almonds

1/2 cup roughly chopped cashews

3 tsp chia seeds (super food)

2 tsp ground flax seed (super food)

2 tsp sesame seeds (optional)

1/4 cup whole buckwheat groats (optional)

crushed dark chocolate (optional)

Pre- heat oven to 350 degrees. Melt first three ingredients together for 45 sec. Combine all other ingredients. Mix in melted peanut butter mixture. Pour into 8x 8 baking pan bake for 10-15 minutes until golden brown on top. I really liked it. I used it for my cereal this morning with almond milk, and fresh raspberries, yum. Well here's to healthy eating!!!!